As I write about the weird things that happen in my head when I see an attractive woman (few are not attractive) I figured that it is very hard to describe how I rebel against myself. I have this ongoing discussion of two parts of my subconsciousness, one fighting against the other, their standpoints are:
Hedonist NoahCritical Anti-Sexist Noah
Wohoo, I want to have sex with so
many different women! And at best,
now!Hey, hey, chill! First thing, question
your desire! (Thank you, Swani)
And second: Well, it is nice that you think like
that but not everyone on this planet thinks like
that and especially not at the same time when you
do!What the fuck do you want? I feel that great
desire and it feels really good. I really want
to go and ask that woman who is passing or the
other one that is sitting over there in the park on
their point of view, maybe they have the same
feeling at the moment and we could … 😉Stop that, you idiot! Leave the other people alone and
don’t carry the topic of sex around and stuff it in everyones
face! I learned that women get enough of that “Hey, wouldn’t
you like to … you know…” and offers for sex like that.
Just because you don’t get them all the time doesn’t mean you
can run around and do exactly that.But hey, what if I frame it with other words, to explain
myself, to show and declare understanding for the situation
and be like:
“Hey, can I talk to you?”
<assuming ‘yes’ as answer>
“I would like to speak about something rather private, is that
ok?”
<Assuming ‘yes’ as answer>You are assuming a lot of “Yes” here!
“I am aware if you are confronted with it a lot you might be
rather pissed but at the moment for me it makes sense to
say this: In my imagination we would have a very good time
having sex and I feel a strong desire for having sex with you.
Do you have the same impression? Do you also feel a strong desire
for sex?”What if they answer with ‘No’?
Well then I of course say thank you and good-by,
sorry for having interrupted you.And what is exactly so different to a creep coming
directly to them saying “Hey, wanna have sex?”Well, I show them that the main focus is not only for
me to have sex but to figure out if the both of us would
enjoy that. And what a feminist are you, patronizing women
based on mathematical statistics, isn’t that a farce itself? Why don’t
you let them make that decision, whether they accept the questions
or smash it by simply saying no?
There are many situations of that kind. And always both positions are to be criticised. Always both positions are somewhat right or wrong.
The thing that bothers me the most is that they are only in my head, but this is not a problem that I could solve on my own.
For that not even books and fancy statistics will help. It has to be deduced from the acts and answers of the living beings around me.